Friendship has always been important to me. I love it, I value it, and I enjoy it. What a blessing it is to share my life, the good and bad; to share this beautiful journey of growth, maturity, new discoveries and revelations; and even to share very simple things - like conversations with someone who totally understands you, both when you make sense and when you talk nonsense. I love William Shakespeare's quote, "A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." How beautiful is that?
I have been blessed with the most amazing friends throughout my life. From as early as primary school, I can remember sharing intimate friendship. Most of those early years, while I had many friends, I had one very close best friend. We slept over at each other's homes, often plaited each other's hair during break time, used each other as dolls to practice new hairstyles, made up recipes together and compiled them in files, designed dresses that we dreamt of seeing on runways, and even attempted writing a romance novel when we were ten years old - with the dream that one day we would be published authors! And it didn't stop there. She had a way of just knowing when I was not okay, like when I was hungry and had no lunch box because there was no food at home. During such times she would share her lunch with me without mention, never making me feel embarrassed or shy.
True friendship...what a beautiful gift.
Beyond primary school I have shared equally precious relationships in high school, university, and beyond. Some have lasted just for a season and ended with grace and peace, while others will undoubtedly last a lifetime. Yet this is not without its ups and downs and all associated challenges.
When I became a mother, some kind of change occurred and seemingly shifted and the nature of most of my friendships, especially the ones that had been closest. And up until a defining moment last night, I didn't understand what was going on. I was so confused by the change and began feeling lonely and withdrawn. I grieved and mourned my friendships, feeling like I was slowly disconnecting from some of my closest life relationships, and it hurt my heart. There were even those moments when I secretly shed a few tears.
Then, just last night in Bible School we shared communion. As I put the piece of bread in my mouth and closed my eyes I could feel those familiar tears building up with strong emotion inside. As a tear dropped from my eye, the teacher began to share with us what she was feeling in the spirit. Unknowingly, she began ministering to my hurting heart. She said, "Some of you are hurting right now because of broken relationships either with family or with friends..." At that point I absolutely knew that God cares about my sadness, that He wants to kiss it and make it better, that He cares about my friendships because He knows they are an important part of my life, that He cares about fixing them because He values relationship. He is a relational God, after all! And within minutes I felt a huge weight lifting off of my shoulders, a lump of sadness leaving, as I was filled with an inexplicable peace, comfort and security.
While I don't have words for what happened last night, I know that something deep within my soul was healed. I'm still trying to work out in my mind how I could have experienced such a profoundly deep encounter within an instant. Yet maybe there's no need to figure it out. As God's child created in a spirit of freedom, I simply receive and welcome the freedom, peace and expectancy that I suddenly find myself feeling with regard to my friendships.
After all, such relationship is God's perfect gift to all of us - and those which thrive and last will necessarily have to be challenged, change, evolve, and grow continually through life's endless changing circumstances. From young girl...to teen...to young woman and college student...to wife...to mother and beyond...what an incredibly beautiful journey it is to experience loving friendships, both old and new, both coming and seemingly going...for perhaps the latter will resurface again and take new shape one day, with a fuller, richer life context as material from which to build.
