Chocolate Vanilla and Caramel : September 2016

In these final days before my third child's birth, I have been reflecting a lot on the previous two as well. Although both experiences were deeply poignant, the second seemed especially beautiful. I remember responding to someone asking me about my experience shortly afterward with the words, "I actually enjoyed it!" It certainly was not pain free, but, apart from "hitting the wall" at one point for about 20 minutes, I was largely at peace, focused and completely trusted that my body and baby knew exactly what to do.

Without a doubt, the differences between my two births were experience and preparation. The second time around I was much more deliberate about preparing myself for what was to come, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and I was obviously more experienced after having done it before. Looking back now, I realize how blessed I was that my sweet one and a half year-old girl would happily entertain herself while I watched a birth video, listened to some relaxation music or read a book or affirming passages of scripture. Almost on a daily basis, after the first trimester, I dedicated an hour or less to preparing myself for the impending birth.

Now, during my third pregnancy, things are different. With two beautiful children who need and love attention when I'm at home, and with some tough physical challenges I have been experiencing, it has been difficult to dedicate quality time to prepare for this birth. I have not felt anxious about this however, because I embrace that I am in a different season of life now. I fully trust that my body and my baby are filled with God's divine peace and that He will carry me through the birthing process just as He has before.

I also made a discovery, much to my delight, that has allowed me to invest a little bit of time into preparing while doing my favorite thing. My children do not like to see me on my computer, iPad or phone, and it is almost guaranteed that as soon as I take out one of these, whether it is to work, relax or just waste time, they suddenly need me for something! However, they seem to happily "tolerate" me sitting in front of my sewing machine while they watch an episode of something on TV or entertain themselves otherwise. So I've been using my sewing hour (when it happens) in the afternoons to listen to teachings, music, scripture passages, declarations, etc on pregnancy, labour and birth. Janet Mills's CD Childbirth in the Glory as well as a few birthing affirmation videos on Youtube have been some of my favorites to listen to. I've also pinned onto my sewing table encouraging passages of scripture.

While sewing tiny newborn outfits and nappies for my son, I consciously turn my thoughts toward him, and pray for him. Even though he may not wear these clothes for long, the privilege of creating them with my hands, heart and soul makes it all worth it. And this is all the preparation I need.

Of course such deep moments are usually interrupted by the inevitable need to use my seam ripper! Ughh…such are probably the only times you'll hear me use vivid expressions that are not normally within my mental vocabulary!